Dreams

I watched the Happening last night right before bed, so, naturally, I dreamed of murderous trees. And then, at one point, I was on the highway trying to get away from the "wind." I was on a bicycle that was going really, really slow and it was getting harder and harder to peddle. There were two people in front of me sharing a bike and I kind of held onto them for a bit, until I realized the emergency brake on my bike was on. I undid it and suddenly I sprung to life and started peddling down a hill really, really fast. I stopped and was all out of breath and looked up. There, in front of me, was a giant Reese Witherspoon billboard.
I actually said, "Fuck this" in my dream, turned around and started peddling back up the hill towards the killer trees.

Dream

This is a dream I had last night:

Morgan Freeman kidnapped someone (in my dream I knew them) and took her to the very top floor of a building. It was hells high up. Well, he managed to flip the building so everything was upside down. There was a little screen where I could see people walking around on the street and I was hanging above them. Also, for some reason, Morgan Freeman put a bunch of cardboard boxes or something stacked up, which held the building up. It was weird. Well, then I was like a detective and I was investigating in a warehouse looking for the kidnapped person and I saw a bunch of cardboard boxes lying around. I started packing them in the back of this truck that was hanging around. The actor Donal Logue (see here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donal_Logue) was also a detective trying to help me solve the case and we accidentally shot someone in the head…and then I woke up because my family gets up at 6am and I do not.


However, I fell back asleep and had another dream. Don’t really remember this one as well, but do remember looking for someone and finding them in the food court with two other people…Oh! I do remember that in the dream I was pregnant and really, really unhappy about it. Everyone parents, grandparents knew about it and they were all happy, but I was upset because I kept thinking about my “ruined future.”

Dream

I had a dream Wednesday night that my oldest sister was getting married. She is engaged to be married, but not until next Novemeber. IN the dream she was getting married well ahead of time and I actually didnt even know about it until I saw it happening. I said, "What's going on?" and someone said, "Ashley is getting married." And I was all, "Thanks for letting me know."
Ok, so in this dream my sister was wearing a really ugly wedding dress. The style of the dress was something she had mentioned she liked, hwoever, what made it hells ugly was that there was this long, heavy cape that hung off of it. On it, there were dark green velvet leaves sown onto it. Right? Ew.
My middle sister and I were sitting at the table watching the hoedown that was taking place for whatever reason and then my sister started crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said, "I can't tell you here." So, we went into a different room. In the dream I thought she was going to tell me that she could see the ghost of our Nana, but what she said was that she could see ghosts and they told her which lottery numbers to play and which movie to bet on for the Oscars. She also told me that Mariah Carey was going to hang herself.
AS we were leaving the room to head back to the wedding, my oldest sister came to bring us to the mandatory etiquette meeting all the women had to attend. We went and then the next thing I knew I was talking with my friend K...Emily... She was cleaning out her car and I asked her if she wanted to go to the wedding. She said no. I asked if she was mad because she "wasn't invited" and then told her that I didn't even know it was happening this day. I asked her again if she wanted to come and she said no, she had a doctors appointment. I told her it was nighttime.
Finally, as I was leaving the wedding, I turned back and Mariah Carey had hung herself over a waterfall. My dream ended.

Dream

I had a dream my sister was married to Edward Norton and kidnapped by Hannibal Lector. At first in the dream I was thinking that this was Red Dragon, but then other weird stuff started happening (bald Gooch) and I finally gave up trying to rationalize it and let it happen. Oh, did I mention in the dream when my sister was being kidnapped and I was talking to Edward Norton the only thing running through my mind was not, "Dear God, don't let my sister be eaten" but "I hope that bitch gets eaten and someone has to console Edward Norton." I think I fail as a sister and succeed as a creeper.

So....

It's been a while, faithful readers (Katie and AD). Not much has happened except:

1) I epically failed at a few things, namely life.
2) I rediscovered The Boondock Saints...so that's how I spent my Christmas break.
3) Living at college is driving me crazy.
4) I'm a lightweight who can hold a surprising amount of alcohol in her body. I think it settles in my boobs.
5) Starting tomorrow there will be serious lifestyle changes within the body of...holy shit. Almost wrote my full name out. In the body of ME.

Stay tuned. I'll probably be complaining for the rest of the year. I made the resolution to be more self confident...And then I saw a picture of myself. There is nothing to be proud of...YET.

Black Friday

Oh, I'll be there. I'll be that frizzy haired girl shoving past you with an armful of DVDs. Am I Christmas shopping? Oh, hell no. Am I shopping for myself? Most likely.

P.S. That crazy fuck actually act the cat because Miley Cyrus didn't go back on Twitter.

P.P.S. Speaking of...Happy Thanksgiving.

Songs

I found this old list saved in my Documents on my computer and decided to clean it up and post it. It is basically a list of my favorite songs in no particular order. Basically, if I was listening to a radio station and any of these songs came on it would totally make my day. And yes, I would be the big-haired girl dancing and singing equally horrendously in the car next to you. Deal with it.

1. Stay--I prefer Franki Valli and the Four Seasons version, but really, I love this song. I don't care who sings it as long as they don't fuck with the beat.
2. Take it on the Run--REO Speedwagon
3. Carry on my Wayward Son--Kansas
4. More Than a Feeling--Boston
5. Put Your Head on my Shoulder--Paul Anka (my Nana used to sing this song to me and my siblings when we were little.)
6. Don't Stop Believing--Journey (Isn't this everyone's favorite song?)
7. Any Way You Want It--Journey
8. Burnin For You--Blue Oyster Cult
9. Snow (Hey Oh)--Red Hot Chili Peppers
10. Scar Tissue--Red Hot Chili Peppers
11. Suck My Kiss--Red Hot Chili Peppers
12. Fall at Your Feet--Crowded House
13. Homeward Bound--Paul Simon
14. Don't Fear the Reaper--Blue Oyster Cult (You'll recognize the beat from the "More Cowbell" SNL skit with Christopher Walken.)
I think I shall continue to update this.

Daily

Kenya

I don't know why I was thinking about this, but I remembered an instance when I was waitressing at the retirement home. There was this one elderly lady who had been there almost as long as I had, which is about three and a half years. She always says my name wrong, and I have never had the heart to correct her. My name is Kayla, but she called my Kaylee, Kaylin, Katelyn, etc. However, this isn't the point of the story.
Again, I'm not sure why I was thinking of this, but I remember one night I was cleaning up and I hear, "Excuse me! Kenya!"
And without even missing a beat I turned back to her and said, "Yes?"
I answered her question and then turned to another girl I worked with and said, "Apparently I'll just answer to anything now."

My official hero

We have all thought about doing this. We have all wanted to do this. But this kid actually went ahead and did it!!! This kid is my absolute hero. Hands down.
I did something like this once, but by mistake. We got our quiz and it said: Has no _____, ______ or _____. When it came time to fill it in, it ended up saying: Has no length, width or thickness. I, without really realizing it, jotted down, "That's what she said." right beside it. Didn't think much of it until we had to hand them in. When my papers were returned my teacher had circled it with a question mark. I don't know if I was supposed to go speak with her about it, and perhaps introduce her to the amazingness that is The Office, but I let it go, she let it go.
This, however, was a deliberate act of teen angst awesomeness. When I'm a teacher, and if I ever get anything like this, I'll make the kid come see me and then high five him. I'll keep it, take it home and frame it as one of the most amazing things I will ever see as a teacher...I'm now kind of excited to be a teacher as opposed to meh.

PS: If anyone was interested, the answer is about 18.2. But 'suck my dick, fag' works, too.
PPS: I am so wondering what happened to that kid after he saw his teacher. Shit like this will keep me up at nights. He's got bigger balls than I did.

Julian Beever

This dude's name is Julian Beever, and he is probably the most awesome person on the planet. I can't even sketch a straight line, and this guy can creat magic with some chalk and a sidewalk. Seriously, I am a miserable bastard and critisize everything, but this is amazing.

I need a hobby

We have a tiny little ant problem in our kitchen. Today, I got so angry and crazed about it, I killed about fifteen or so ants and let one live with the request that he "go, and tell the others what he has seen!"

Celebrity Crush of the Day

Hello, lover.

Seriously, this is seriously the sexiest man on Earth.

Not only did he play Severus Snape in Harry Potter (who is my favorite HP character), but he's going to be in the new Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movie.

Here are two clips to help you get a better sense:

This is from Family Guy:

This is some random youtube clip:

I have no idea what the hell he's talking about...but me loves it.

It is times like these that I breathe a sigh of relief because I am not some huge freak. There are other people who like him so much they make fan videos dedicated to his voice.

I'll be there

My friends somewhat introduced me to this band senior year. I'm not going to try and describe/name them because I'm just going to get yelled at by said friends. Well, this is my favorite song by them. This is what I want my first dance with my husband to be at my wedding when (or if) I get married. Just have to overcome that little thing called ZERO SELF-CONFIDENCE in order to get in the right direction of marriage.

Enjoy!

Daily

This dog is giving off serious "HELP ME" eyes. I can only assume he's either A) frightened of a life with these people, or B) he has just realized the burden being Canine Jesus is going to have on his life.

Oh dear God

If your first thought was, "Ok. It's a Snuggie. What's the big deal?" Then you, my friend, are an idiot. This is not a Snuggie. This is a Slanket.

I repeat: This is a SLANKET.

I didn't realize it was humanly possible to get even more ghetto than the Snuggie, but, as I waited in line at Ross, I found I was mistaken.

Doesn't that look comfy?

Well, think again. I happen to own a Snuggie. It was a gift from a friend.

What a Snuggie really is, is a thin piece of felt that sheds all over any black or dark clothing you may be wearing. You need to rest your back against something warm and comfy, otherwise your back and neck will freeze. It makes you kind of clammy and gross feeling. There is this extra fabric that just hangs over your neck and back like loose foreskin or something. It's really an icky experience all around. Not only that, but in order to be considered a UNIVERSAL SIZE they had to make it seven feet long. That means you should never run (unless from zombies) in a Snuggie/Slanket. You will trip and faceplant.

Fuck you Snuggie.

And a double fuck you to the Slanket.

Swear Word of the Day

Bitchtits.


Example:
"Did you clean your room?"
"Shut up, Bitchtits."

This is absolutely ridiculous

Seriously? This is getting out of hand. First of all, if you want to fuck a aluminum can, fine. Do as you please. I don't care. But if you actually have to add FANGS into the mix, then you, my friend, have a problem.

I like that there is a new texture named "Fang."

This is so odd to me.

Am I to believe that before this...can-vagina came out there were men who had their respective beej partners wearing fake vampire fangs to get them off? Officially, this is out of hand. I'm going to form a committee to stop shit like this from coming out.

Unbelievable.

Daily Dose

Again, I can't even correctly identify how much I love this picture. Look at the attitude. She knows she's awesome. I know she's awesome. I...I want her costume. There is a 20% Goodwill has something similar to this, and I intend to find it.

P.S. I saw it, I just chose to ignore it. Lest I take away from the amazingness of this photo.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday, Katie!

Hope you're enjoying the most pointless birthday ever. Though, next year we'll be twenty...holy shit...