Currently...

Ok, so, after working in retail I have decided this:
1) When your total comes to 11. 85, please, for the love of GOD, do not root around in your purse for twenty minutes looking for eighty five cents! Take the damn nickle and dime and have a wonderful day with it. Shit, drop it on the ground outside of the door for all I really care. You hold not only everyone up, but me as well.
2) If your total comes to 11. 33 and you say, "Oh, I think I have the 33 cents right here..." you better be holding 33 cents in your frigging hand waiting to give it to me. I don't want you to gesture at me with some lint, a gum wrapper and a nickle. That isn't actual currency, no matter what that handful will get you in the home.
3) If you get to the line and your intention is to write a check (presumably after you've stumbled out of your time machine fresh from 1993) have all the basics filled out while I'm ringing you up, please. Do not hear the total, get all flustered, push your way through a bag big enough to hold a body and then produce your checkbook, squint around the store looking for the date, ask what the amount was seven different times before you finally scrawl your name down on the check.
People, just in case you didn't know, I am being TIMED by how fast your produce your effing money.
Believe me, I thought waitressing for the elderly was bad. I thought placing a plate in front of a woman who had dozed off was bad. I thought sniffing the air and wondering why it smelled like shit, only to find out it was an actual turd in the dining room, was bad. I thought cleaning up dirty tissures and half masticated food was bad.
I was wrong.
Welcome to retail.