What I stumbled upon by chance

"Okay, your total comes to $3.99"

"Alright...Here is three dollars...and I think I have the ninety-nine cents for you."

"You have to be fu--" *Clears throat, smiles* "Okay."

Because, really, a penny is going to bog down that purse of yours, isn't it? You know how heavy and large those pennies are.

I wanted to leap over the counter and strangle that woman! If you didn't want the penny all you have to do is literally flick it out of your fingers within seconds of getting it. Drop it, place it back on the counter, hand it back to me, throw it in my fucking face, just don't try to avidly avoid it.

I thought maybe this woman had a serious fear of coins (there is no known name of such an ailment), but that bitch went and handed my ninety-nine cents worth of coins.

However, as I was looking up the name for the fear of coins I found this: Ithyphallophobia- Fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis.

You know, that must suck if you're a guy. I mean, when it does inevitably happen in your lifetime, what the hell do you do with it?

Then there's: Parthenophobia- Fear of virgins or young girls. I had to ask myself what in the holy fuck that even means! I know what the literal definition is, but again, what that fuck happens when a person with this phobia comes in contact with a little girl? Virgins are harder to spot. They mix in among us, maybe work with us, check us out at the supermarket or cut your hair. They could be anywhere. Little girls, though, can be spotted. So, when you're watching tv and that little shit who plays in the juicy juice commercial comes on, do you shit yourself in fear? Do you switch the station? Do you call your therapist? I'm so interested I am about to post a fucking craigslist ad just to get an answer, but, again, I'll probably get a pedi and die or something.

Finally, Walloonphobia- Fear of the Walloons.

What in the holy fuck is a Walloon?