25 Causual observations at...

My line at work:

1)Why would someone feel the need to shove five stacks of bags onto my bag holder? Now everytime I put something in a bag, it rips from the rest and falls on my feet.
2) Wow, thank God that woman was only buying a FIVE POUND WEIGHT.
3) Seeing white, toes are broken, I think.
4) May you leave your basket with me? Did you get it from me? No? Then put it back where you found it!
5) A check? Welcome to 2009. Get a fucking debit card like the rest of the masses!
6) Of course you can use my pen. I mean, why wouldn't you have a pen on you, if you're one of the last holdouts to get a debit card? That would be too much work, wouldn't it?
7) I said 42.37, not 32.37. Great, now, just rip up that panda check and write a brand new one. I'll wait. Oh, those people behind you plotting your death, they'll wait to, though I'll warn you: They aren't getting paid to stay polite.
8) That woman must be embarrassed by the hissy fit her son is throwing. I would be.
9) Oh, good, now she's throwing one too because her towels rang up at 9.99 instead of 8.99.
10) Ma'am, chances are the computer is right and you were too busy chasing your nose-picking son around the store to notice. Perhaps you picked up the wrong towel?
11) Now you don't want anything? Thankfully I didn't spend too much time packaging everything into your cloth bags before you decided this. Fuck off.
12) God, I hate cloth bags. Reusable bags, whatever. If, at the end of the world, I get a chance to ask why our world came to an end and someone (I assume God or Jesus or Chris Farley) answers me and replies, "Not enough people used reusable bags and all those plastic bags in the landfills caused such a glare when the sun hit them that it caused a giant hole in the atmosphere and made us all catch on fire (which I like to believe happened at the end of Knowing) then that would be FUCKING FINE BY ME! I HATE REUSABLE BAGS!!
13) Ma'am? Ma'am? Ma'am? I'm eighteen for fucks sake! Do I look like a Ma'am to you? Am I wearing a shall or reading glasses or two pairs of glasses on my head? Do you see this face? This is the face of youth! Ma'am. I'm Miss at most, asshole. Now get your fucking KY jelly and ugly girlfriend and get out of here. Ma'am. Mother fucker.
14) Does she realize that she is wearing a white shirt with no bra? Does she realize I can quite clearly see her nipples clear as day? I guess not. I'm going to be sick.
15) The nipple flasher dropped both her change and recipt and had to bend over to get it. Now, I'm clocked in, so I'm getting payed and this woman bends over and I see her boobs...does that make her a stripper...or me a pimp?
16) Once I open the register I do not feel like taking your sixty five cents and giving you the extra dollar. Take the quarter and dime and have a wonderful fucking life, you imbecile.
17) No, you can not make returns here. I don't care what she told you at Guest Services. I don't care that you're lying about waiting twenty minutes in my line to see me. I'm going to send you over to that line now with this parting thought: GO FUCK YOURSELF.
18) I hate my life.
19) I've only been here an hour and fifteen minutes? This isn't possible...
20) I don't see why you bother hiding your condems under a magazine. I'm going to find them, and I'm going to pretend I can't find the label so everyone behind you knows you like a Trojans variety pack.
21) BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK!!!
22) Aw, sad. Break is over. :(
23) Please don't bring in your expired rain check and try to tell me it isn't expired. See that date? That date was the expiration date. That date was two months ago. Today, actually, two months ago today. Happy anniversary. Go away.
24) Only another hour...One more hour, one more hour, one more hour.
25) FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM FREE--Ack/Ugh. Just choked on my gum.