Currently...

Plotting the death of my thyroid.
My doctor excitedly told me how happy she was that my numbers FINALLY looked normal and we could now start seeing some progress. She began asking me all the routine questions: Are your fingers ever numb? Ankles swollen? Sluggish? I happily answered no and she was smiling, all excited for me. Then she says, Trouble swallowing?
I was about to say no, but then I remembered that I do, in fact, have trouble swallowing sometimes. I'll be driving on my way to work, snacking on a granola bar, and suddenly feel like I'm going to choke. It has become such a bad problem that I can no longer chew gum while I drive, because it almost always ends up halfway down my throat, and then I'm swerving all over the road trying not to choke to death.
Well, as soon as I mentioned it to her, her smile slipped off of her face. She frowned and then start massaging my thyroid. She got quite frowny and then said that most likely, my throat muscles stopped working together, and that is why I have trouble swallowing.
She was slightly disappointed. I do not know if it was directed at me, or my thyroid. I wanted to tell her that I have enough hate for my thyroid for the both of us. No one hates their thyroid more than me.
I sometimes dream it will morph into human form and then we can battle it out. If it did morph into human form, I'd want it to punch me as hard as it could, RIGHT IN MY FUCKING FACE, just so I could have a plausible reason to have this much HATE for it. I would totally let it punch me and then start beating the shit out of it until it was a bloody mass of half human, half thyroid mess on the ground.
Just thinking about beating my thyroid to death makes me so happy... :) :)

Oh, side note: Something I learned today? Your thyroid can choke and kill you. What a lovely FUCKING organ.