Seriously now...

This morning I was informed that Stephanie Meyer was going to be immortilized in a comic book. This comic book's sole purpose is to showcase "a broad examination of strong and influential women who are shaping modern history and culture." WTF!
First of all, Stephanie Meyer's only claim to fame is making a stupid series about a clumsy girl who falls in love with a stalker/abuser/murderer/vampire. Now, I can see her being honored for that if she made Bella a strong, assertive female who knows what she wants from life and stands up for herself. BUT SHE DOESN'T! She is a damsel in distress in every possible way! Meyer made a character who can't even walk down the hall without tripping and needing saving by Edward. It's bullshit. So, instead of teaching girls to be strong and independent, Meyer decides to tell them, "No. You need to be saved. You need a man in order to survive every day life. Hey, and if he leaves bruises on your arms, stalks you and tells you you're not allowed to pick your own friends that just means he loves you and wants to marry you."
On to my second point. Besides telling girls that it is okay if your boyfriend beats you, as long as he apologizes later and maybe marries you, but this series is complete bull shit. I read the first book, hoping for vampire sex, and thought, okay, this has potential. I read the second book (hoping for vampire sex) and couldn't figure out how this got published. Maybe I should write a book in which the main character cries for three hundred pages and then leads along a very nice boy who she knows is in love with her.
What did Twilight teach girls?
1) If the school freak stalks you, breaks into your house and watches you sleep at night and tells you how hard it is for him to not snap your neck and drink your blood on a second-to-second basis, it means he LOVES YOU! Congratulations! Creepy boys everywhere rejoice! (Just sparkle.)
What did New Moon teach girls?
1) Okay, so you don't have strong feelings for that boy who is obviously in love with you. How about you string him along and get his hopes up? Just apologize when he thinks you're in a relationship together, but you're actually not, and then drop him as soon as your ex-boyfriend comes back into the picture. He'll understand, right? Oh, and don't forget to completely ignore him and be snotty with him because your returned boyfriend forbids you from seeing him!
2) If your boyfriend dumps you and says he doesn't love you anymore, he doesn't mean it! He just wants you to prove your love! How about you jump off that nice cliff over there?
That's just fucking lovely, Meyer!
What did Eclipse teach girls?
1) After making Edward creepy as all FUCKING HELL, Meyer realizes that everyone is pretty much rooting for Jacob and Bella. Bellcob, if you will. So, how does her Mormon brain decide to stop the insanity? She turns Jacob into a date raper. He keeps kissing her after she says no, she punches him (breaks her fucking hand. GOD THIS GIRL CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!) and runs home to Edward, but realizes she loves both Edward and Jacob. So, the lesson here? It actually isn't for the girls, but the boys made to read the books by their girlfriends. Lesson: Keep being sexually agressive with girls. Eventually we'll realize we're in love with you.
2) In this book, all Bella does is lead both Edward and Jacob along. Which Meyer says is okay, just as long as somewhere down the line you make a choice and feel badly. (Actually, you don't really have to feel badly. Why not just have a daughter and give it to the other one to fuck for life?) Which brings us to...
The hot mess of Breaking Dawn. And by hot mess I mean PIECE OF SHIT BOOK WHERE NOTHING (AGAIN) HAPPENS! NOT EVEN VAMPIRE SEEEEEX!
Okay, so in Breaking Dawn that dumb bitch gets pregnant (which is illegal). A bunch of other boring fighting/crap happens. During labor, Bella is being crushed to death by her baby (how lovely if she would have STOPPED IT THERE!!). So, what does Edward do? He rips open her uterus with his teeth and bites her on the vagina. Because, if he hasn't proven himself to be an upstanding, moral intact young undead vampire, a bite to the vagina will clear all your misgivings up. Well, she has the fucking baby, turns into a vamp, and what happens? WHAT HAPPENS?
Jacob imprints on her. Imprint is werewolf for boner-maker. So, now Jacob (who was a date raper in Eclipse) becomes a pediphile in Breaking Dawn. How lovely and...oh, by all means let him HOLD THE BABY, HIS FUTURE WIFE! But surely, this little baby must one day get a choice on whether or not she's really in love with Jacob, right? No. Oh. Well, fuck.
Well, apparently there was a war, but I don't remember. You know the only thing I do remember from this fucking book? (aside from the no VAMPIRE SEX) Renessme. Even as I write this I am twitching. Renessme. Renessme. RENESSME????? Somewhere in the world Albus Severus stopped crying because his NAME SUCKED SO BAD. What a dumb bitch!!! I could forgive you, Meyer, for the Mormon undertones, and the wait until marriage bullshit, and the fact that you made a weak, annoying character. But this is unforgivable. The funny part? I expected NO LESS from that dumb bitch Bella. She lives up to exactly what I thought she was! THE DUMBEST BITCH IN THE LITERARY WORLD!
So, I leave you with this: RENESSME!
However, I must ask, is this someone you really want to give a comic book character to? Female force, huh? Alright. I admit defeat.
Oh, by the way, who else is getting one?
WTF!!!!
Michella Obama, Princess Diana, and Oprah!
Ok. I am so angry I am about to smother the life out of a puppy. When I think of strong, powerful women, I think of these three above this. Not Stephanie Meyer.
1) Michelle Obama is our first lady! She is the woman behind the most powerful man in the world. She has been and will continue to do great things while in office, and even after office!
2) Princess Diana was the people's princess! She was one of the first people to realize and then announce that you can't catch AIDS with a handshake! She did so much charity work while alive and so many people benefitted from her!
3) And Oprah? Well, she's just Oprah. I mean, COME ON! She picked our president. We can all act like we voted and we had a choice, but no. She picked him. She said this is him. Vote for him. And we did! Oprah is so powerful she can banish you from Earth. In a good way. LOVE YOU, B!
Great. So, we have three women who looked to empower young girls, and one who wishes them to be beaten to death by their vampire spawn. Awesome.
Well, I'm off to get the shit beat out of me by my boyfriend so that he can prove how much HE LOVES ME!