I've been trying to write an American History paper for about a week now. I can't get into it. Why? Well, let's see. The topic is to define reform Darwinism (which is really just social Darwinism) and the Progressive reform movement (which is really just the reforms the Progressive movement made) and relate it to the successes and failures of the presidencies of both Roosevelt and Wilson. And...GO!
I have literally been staring at a blank Microsoft Word screen for the past three days. Finally, today, after much effort, I had a...(wait for it) BREAKTHROUGH. And then proceeded to write three pages worth of the shittiest writing I've ever done. So, now all I have to do is link the definitions to the successes and failures of Wilson and Roosevelt and I'm done...Oh, no, wait. I then have to get up on Wednesday and give a ten minute presentation. I seriously just want to go, "No one read this essay and no one cares. How about I showcase my ability to link any celebrity (and I mean ANY CELEBRITY) to another celebrity in under three minutes?"
A brief look into my mental and emtional breakdown via my Facebook updates:
Thursday, October 8th at 12:12 am:
Um...where the hell did those two hours go?
Internal monologue: "Holy shit. Is it really...What the hell...I guess I should go to bed...I could have sworn it was ten o'clock like ten seconds ago...Hmm..."
Thursday, October 8th at 1:33 pm:
3 papers to write and 3 practice tests to study for and take. If ever there was a time, it is now: FML.
Internal monologue: "Fuck my life. Fuck my miserable life. Mhmm...animal crackers. Fuck my life."
Thursday, October 8th at 4:14 pm
After four hours of procrastination (Did you know that buttons were invented in 2800 BC?!) I finally started my paper. Almost done and then ready to start another paper tomorrow and one on Saturday. Ugh. FML.
Internal monologue: "Seriously, I can not get over the buttons. Fuck this paper. I should be doing my paper on the history of buttons! BUTTONS!"
Friday, October 9th at 7:52 pm
Attempting to write my American History paper.
Internal monologue: "And by attempting I mean staring at a blank screen, crying, desperately hoping a reasonably presentable seven page paper pops up."
Friday, October 9th at 10:10 pm
*me silently weeping over my notes*
Friday, October 9th at 10:17 pm
It's been two hours and the Queen of Procrastination has written one whole paragraph. Damn it, YouTube!
Internal monologue: "Not gonna lie...Kind of worth it."
Saturday, October 10th at 1:00 pm
This paper is my Everest.
Internal monologue: "When I finish this paper it will be a miracle. So awesome will it be that I will surely be able to do anything. Like cure cancer. Or world hunger. Or fly. What? No. Not fly. You can't...YOU DUMB FUCKING BITCH. WRITE YOUR PAPER!"
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so you're one of those chronic status updaters?
ReplyDeleteI think I could write a whole blog about how much I hate status updates. Why are you telling everyone about how much you have to do instead of actually doing it. It's like "jeez, I have so much work to do, hold on, let me tell my 876 friends about it on fb."
Call me crazy, but I think people have more things to worry about than the progress of your paper, especially since it was taking forever. It would have been fine at the beginning to say something similar to "have lots of work to do, please don't call, text or IM, because I'm already having a hard time concentrating" or even make a joke "is it just me, or is social darwinism much less interesting than when buttons were created?" then you could have ended it with something like "FINALLY DONE. it took long enough..." but updating SEVEN TIMES IS WAY TOO MUCH
I know I'm being a total bitch. I'm not usually like this, but status updates can get me really frustrated. Just thought you should know.
But other than that, I enjoy reading your blog. If you posted as much as you change your status, I would be very happy.