Saturday, February 28, 2009
Genius!!!
I am so happy that I stumbled along this a while back. It is seriously the funniest thing I have seen in a while.
Friday, February 27, 2009
The face of pure evil
I know I'm going to hell for posting this, but so be it. I stumbled across a website today that had all these Suri Cruise photos on it. The more I glanced through it the more uneasy I felt. I feel like when I look into her eyes they are blank and lifeless, and other times...other times they seem to be trying to control my thoughts through the computer screen.
Look into those eyes and tell me you don't get a little irked.
She's not the only one, though. Miley Cyrus's face is directly linked to my gag reflex. I can't even look at her without feeling nauseous.
I'm sure in real life Suri is a perfectly fine alien child, but to me she seems rather off. And by off I mean not human. And by not human I mean Scientology created alien life form.
Seriously now
Every time I have a spare, silent moment inside my head, this pops in! It's driving me crazy! This song is currently looping around on my computer because when it isn't playing then I'm singing it in my head.
My mother was humming it this morning (probably because of the ever-playing loop on my computer), stopped, turned to me and said, "Why the hell am I singing David Cassidy? Why don't you have any taste in music?"
I tried to switch to a different song about an hour ago, but it was no use. I simply kept humming I think I love you under my breath, waiting for the song to be over so I could switch back to David Cassidy, may he rot in hell.
There are times when I can't even sit, lie or stand still while listening to it. I suddenly spring alive and have to dance to it. Sometimes I get really into it and sing at the top of my lungs. Then, there are times, like now, where I feel like crying because I can't shake this song for the life of me. I'm sure they play this song in hell. The beginning of this song gives me the motherfucking creeps, but before I can turn it, I'm already sucked into the chorus.
Seriously, though, fuck David Cassidy. I seriously hope he goes to hell. Fucking hippie Partridge bastard.
On a side note, the song seems to be driving my fish bugfuck crazy as well. Every now and again I'll turn my head to him and see Wayne Brady giving me the side-eye, so I put headphones on.
My mother was humming it this morning (probably because of the ever-playing loop on my computer), stopped, turned to me and said, "Why the hell am I singing David Cassidy? Why don't you have any taste in music?"
I tried to switch to a different song about an hour ago, but it was no use. I simply kept humming I think I love you under my breath, waiting for the song to be over so I could switch back to David Cassidy, may he rot in hell.
There are times when I can't even sit, lie or stand still while listening to it. I suddenly spring alive and have to dance to it. Sometimes I get really into it and sing at the top of my lungs. Then, there are times, like now, where I feel like crying because I can't shake this song for the life of me. I'm sure they play this song in hell. The beginning of this song gives me the motherfucking creeps, but before I can turn it, I'm already sucked into the chorus.
Seriously, though, fuck David Cassidy. I seriously hope he goes to hell. Fucking hippie Partridge bastard.
On a side note, the song seems to be driving my fish bugfuck crazy as well. Every now and again I'll turn my head to him and see Wayne Brady giving me the side-eye, so I put headphones on.
In case you were wondering...
THIS is what I do in my spare time. These are part of a list that I have come up with and will be working on. I may post more of these during the next coming posts.
For those of you who do not find it funny, well, then, you are obviously a robot. And robots must be stopped...
Anywho, these three are my favorites. Again, more to come.
Heard last night
"Is this illegal?"
"Um...No."
"Why did you turn off your headlights?"
"Because I don't want anyone to see us."
"Why don't you want anyone to see us?"
"Because they might call the cops."
"Why would they call the cops?"
"Because this is illegal."
"Awesome."
"Um...No."
"Why did you turn off your headlights?"
"Because I don't want anyone to see us."
"Why don't you want anyone to see us?"
"Because they might call the cops."
"Why would they call the cops?"
"Because this is illegal."
"Awesome."
Why oh why?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-B0WCBz2mg
Of all things in this world, why this? Seriously.
It will not get out of my head!!
Of all things in this world, why this? Seriously.
It will not get out of my head!!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Currently...
Ok, so, after working in retail I have decided this:
1) When your total comes to 11. 85, please, for the love of GOD, do not root around in your purse for twenty minutes looking for eighty five cents! Take the damn nickle and dime and have a wonderful day with it. Shit, drop it on the ground outside of the door for all I really care. You hold not only everyone up, but me as well.
2) If your total comes to 11. 33 and you say, "Oh, I think I have the 33 cents right here..." you better be holding 33 cents in your frigging hand waiting to give it to me. I don't want you to gesture at me with some lint, a gum wrapper and a nickle. That isn't actual currency, no matter what that handful will get you in the home.
3) If you get to the line and your intention is to write a check (presumably after you've stumbled out of your time machine fresh from 1993) have all the basics filled out while I'm ringing you up, please. Do not hear the total, get all flustered, push your way through a bag big enough to hold a body and then produce your checkbook, squint around the store looking for the date, ask what the amount was seven different times before you finally scrawl your name down on the check.
People, just in case you didn't know, I am being TIMED by how fast your produce your effing money.
Believe me, I thought waitressing for the elderly was bad. I thought placing a plate in front of a woman who had dozed off was bad. I thought sniffing the air and wondering why it smelled like shit, only to find out it was an actual turd in the dining room, was bad. I thought cleaning up dirty tissures and half masticated food was bad.
I was wrong.
Welcome to retail.
1) When your total comes to 11. 85, please, for the love of GOD, do not root around in your purse for twenty minutes looking for eighty five cents! Take the damn nickle and dime and have a wonderful day with it. Shit, drop it on the ground outside of the door for all I really care. You hold not only everyone up, but me as well.
2) If your total comes to 11. 33 and you say, "Oh, I think I have the 33 cents right here..." you better be holding 33 cents in your frigging hand waiting to give it to me. I don't want you to gesture at me with some lint, a gum wrapper and a nickle. That isn't actual currency, no matter what that handful will get you in the home.
3) If you get to the line and your intention is to write a check (presumably after you've stumbled out of your time machine fresh from 1993) have all the basics filled out while I'm ringing you up, please. Do not hear the total, get all flustered, push your way through a bag big enough to hold a body and then produce your checkbook, squint around the store looking for the date, ask what the amount was seven different times before you finally scrawl your name down on the check.
People, just in case you didn't know, I am being TIMED by how fast your produce your effing money.
Believe me, I thought waitressing for the elderly was bad. I thought placing a plate in front of a woman who had dozed off was bad. I thought sniffing the air and wondering why it smelled like shit, only to find out it was an actual turd in the dining room, was bad. I thought cleaning up dirty tissures and half masticated food was bad.
I was wrong.
Welcome to retail.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Happy Birthday George Harrison
I do not think I need to repeat how much I LOVE this man, but I will:
I LOVE YOU!!!!!
You would have been 66 today.
This is also my favorite picture of him, so it's fitting...
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Currently...
I am currently obsessed with:
The song Sweet Child of Mine--Taken by Trees. It is a cover of the original song of the same name. I first heard it in the Last House on the Left trailor. Seriously, I personally would never have thought of placing a song done on a piano during an action sequence. It totally works, though!
Also, I have been playing the Inglourious Basterds trailor over and over and over again. It is because of this trailor that I have also slightly become obsessed with Eli Roth's face.
*Sigh*
The song Sweet Child of Mine--Taken by Trees. It is a cover of the original song of the same name. I first heard it in the Last House on the Left trailor. Seriously, I personally would never have thought of placing a song done on a piano during an action sequence. It totally works, though!
Also, I have been playing the Inglourious Basterds trailor over and over and over again. It is because of this trailor that I have also slightly become obsessed with Eli Roth's face.
*Sigh*
I Can Not Contain My Excitement!!
I do not know why exactly, but when I saw this trailor, I got incredibly excited. I know it's going to be great because Tarantino (or Tearin-ya-tino as my friends and I call him) is an absolute master! Not only that, but it has one of the geeks from Freaks and Geeks, Eli Roth who created Hostel (the only move that made me have to stop eating while watching it), Brad Pitt's porn-stash and, of course!, the incredible mind of Tarantino.
Yes, you can say, I am wicked excited.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fohT0sS0wpo&feature=related
Watch it and love it!!
Yes, you can say, I am wicked excited.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fohT0sS0wpo&feature=related
Watch it and love it!!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Oscars 2009
I had a total brain fart yesterday and could not put my fingers to the keys and jack off a blog post for the life of me.
Currently watching the Oscars.
Ryan Seacrest could not be pissing me off more. I could fucking shave my skin off with a fork at this point. Holy shit! Why does he keep getting this job? A monkey with it's finger up it's own ass flinging the microphone at Meryl Streep as she passed could do a better job than he is.
Starting my new job tomorrow...so, may or may not be back on for a bit. Again, no one actually reads this, but still.
Currently watching the Oscars.
Ryan Seacrest could not be pissing me off more. I could fucking shave my skin off with a fork at this point. Holy shit! Why does he keep getting this job? A monkey with it's finger up it's own ass flinging the microphone at Meryl Streep as she passed could do a better job than he is.
Starting my new job tomorrow...so, may or may not be back on for a bit. Again, no one actually reads this, but still.
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