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Friday, October 2, 2009
This is why my homework is never done
Gooch: So my bra broke…so I have to keep adjusting it…and every time I do, the guy next to me stares down my cleavage!
Me: Buy some damn bras. All your bras are broken!
Gooch: This one just broke! I have three that are still intact. This guy is creeping me out though. You’d think he never saw cleavage before!
Me: Before next class put a little fake chest hair in your cleavage. He won’t bother you anymore. Pics or it never happened.
Gooch: That’s gross…and too much work…I’ll just let him look down my shirt.
Me: Whore.
Gooch: No. Just lazy.
Me: You obviously don’t value our friendship if you’re not willing to tape fake chest hair to your tits.
Gooch: What does that have anything to do with our friendship? I’m being sexually harassed and you’re suggesting fake chest hair!
Me: It has everything to do with our friendship! You owe it to yourself, Erin, your mother, me and humanity to tape fake chest hair to your tits!
Gooch: Stop. You’re gonna make scream laugh during class.
Me: You know how you get him to stop looking at your cleavage? Turn to him and say, “Don’t these look real? Nice!! Now, if I could only get this damn dick removed I’d be set…Speaking of, how’d you like to go out sometime?”
Gooch: Kayla, I’m going to fucking kill you!!! I fought back the scream laugh but my throat’s dry so I went into a coughing fit instead.
In case anyone is ever confused: fake chest hair is always funny.
Me: Buy some damn bras. All your bras are broken!
Gooch: This one just broke! I have three that are still intact. This guy is creeping me out though. You’d think he never saw cleavage before!
Me: Before next class put a little fake chest hair in your cleavage. He won’t bother you anymore. Pics or it never happened.
Gooch: That’s gross…and too much work…I’ll just let him look down my shirt.
Me: Whore.
Gooch: No. Just lazy.
Me: You obviously don’t value our friendship if you’re not willing to tape fake chest hair to your tits.
Gooch: What does that have anything to do with our friendship? I’m being sexually harassed and you’re suggesting fake chest hair!
Me: It has everything to do with our friendship! You owe it to yourself, Erin, your mother, me and humanity to tape fake chest hair to your tits!
Gooch: Stop. You’re gonna make scream laugh during class.
Me: You know how you get him to stop looking at your cleavage? Turn to him and say, “Don’t these look real? Nice!! Now, if I could only get this damn dick removed I’d be set…Speaking of, how’d you like to go out sometime?”
Gooch: Kayla, I’m going to fucking kill you!!! I fought back the scream laugh but my throat’s dry so I went into a coughing fit instead.
In case anyone is ever confused: fake chest hair is always funny.
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