One the way home

My radio has been quite nice the past two days. And by nice I mean it gets more than two stations. Tonight as I was leaving work I found a station that wasn't on the commercial. It was ONE OF THOSE STATIONS. You know the ones I mean, where they play one good song after another. And songs that you haven't heard in frigging forever, but as soon as they come on you can't believe you ever forgot about them. The kind of songs that make you sing loudly and dance and bounce around in your seat.
As soon as I tuned in it played a song I hadn't heard in ages. I was like, Cool beans. I'm going to enjoy driving home tonight. Then, the next song came on: also a winner. For five songs this radio station did me good. Just as I was getting ready to dub this the best radio station EVER, Miley Cyrus came on.
I was like, "Oooh. Close, radio station, close. The correct answer was Single Ladies by Beyonce or anything by No Doubt."
Leave it to Miley Cyrus. She'll not be happy until she's runied everything about my life.

Thinkin' about it

I wrote two (2) stories now about Nicolas Cage. I did them each for a seperate friend on their birthdays. It was all in good fun and for no other reason than a laugh, until...
My mother informed me that Good Housekeeping has a short story contest! I already know I'm not going to win. I mean, der. I wrote a story I'm likely to get sued about if I ever try to publish it. One part involves Keanu Reeves and Nicolas Cage slow dancing in a Korean club. Probably didn't happen.
What is the worst that can happen? I have to ask myself.
Worst Case Scenario: Someone at Good Housekeeping reads my story, hates it and I get a rejection letter (maybe). Fine. Cool. I wasn't a writer yesterday and that means I'm not a writer today. No biggie.
Eh Case Scenario: Someone at Good Housekeeping reads it, finds it humerous, but still can't publish it. I get a letter back saying while they thought it was hilarious, it's highly illegal. Would I be interested in writing funny columns for them?
BEST CASE SCENARIO: Someone at Good Housekeeping is high off their ass. They read this, think it's fantastic and actually publish my story. I GET SUED BY NICOLAS CAGE AND KEANU REEVES. Now, picture it: Me and all 5'3 and frizziness in a California court room battling over my little story. After I win (because I just say, listen, don't publish it. I don't really care), I get to meet Keanu Reeves and Nicolas Cage (or at least be closer to them than I would have in the first place). I'll ask Nicolas Cage or Keanu Reeves to INTRODUCE ME TO JUDGE REINHOLD. Bam! They do. Bam! Sparks fly, angels cry and the next thing you know, me and Judge are eating lunch somewhere in California.
This plan has awesomeness written all over it. I swear, I don't know why I'm even going to college. I'm totally missing my calling as an EVIL MASTERMIND!! Mwhahahahaha!

New Layout

So, after eight months or so with this blog, I just now started poking around with my settings. I've been looking at other blogs and always wonder how they get theirs so personal. Then I realized, Oh, yeah, you ARE allowed to change stuff. I'm liking this new layout for right now.
I also realized that when I write a new post, I've been doing it in the wrong spot. Instead of in the COMPOSE section, I've been doing it in the EDIT HTML section, aka: the ghetto-ass section. I thought my blog just downgraded about six months ago. No, I have been clicking on the wrong tab for six months. Enlightenment.
Also, I accidentally allowed my blog to translate everything for me into Hindu. It took my ten minutes to figure out how to change it back to English. I'm not the best at this kind of stuff.
I wanted to also say that I am going to be posting parts of a fun little story I wrote. I have written about Nicolas Cage. There is a sequel which I have just concluded this week. All in all I am very excited about it.
Well, that's it for the updates.

Heard at work

"No, listen, this it toally full proof. You want to know how you get out of a DUI?"
"How?"
"When you get your liscence you get a suit and get your picture taken in it."
"Why?"
"So when the arresting officer looks at your picture and sees you in a suit, he already thinks you're a professional business man. You can then just tell him you're a lawyer."
"Does that really work?"
"You bet it does."
"Cool. Thanks for the advice, Dad!"
And then the father and fourteen year old boy left the store to presumably get shit faced and go for a drive.

OKay, I have a problem with this.
One: This boy is fourteen years old. How many teenage boys do you know that are lawyers?
Secondly: Nice parenting. Instead of telling him to stay away from drinking and driving, this father gives his son a way to get around jail time.
Thirdly: How often do you have to get pulled over while drunk to know that this works? Maybe it's time to either stop driving or stop drinking. Obviously, doing the two aint workin' for ya.