Hoping there's a payoff

If anyone is wondering why I haven't been updating as regularly as before, it is because summer has started and I have put myself on a strict diet. I'm at the in-between where I could be really heavy or healthier, so I am going for healthier. My goal is to lose twenty pounds this summer, and thirty by Christmas. I am really short, barely skating past the five foot two mark, so in order to be "healthy" I need to lose about forty pounds. 
It just got to the point where I, and everyone around me, was sick of complaining about the way I looked. My mother finally said, "Listen, you have to stop. You have to come to a point in your life where you're happy with the way you look, and if you're not, then change it." I took these words to heart and decided to stop letting my body be a burden and a prison. So, I have started, for what feels like the hundredth time, a diet/workout regiment. I think this time it will stick, as I have two goals to work towards. The first, going back to Rhode Island for a family party May 20th. I'd like to lose five by the time I get there. Then the second, is an engagement party for my oldest sister in August. I'd like another fifteen gone by then.  I started walking every day and eating healthier. Today, for example, I had 55 goldfish (140 calories), a porkchop and an apple.
Which brings me to why I haven't been updating:
I AM FUCKING HUNGRY.
From the minute I wake up until I go to bed all I think about is food. No, not food. Pizza. Chocolate. Mozzerella sticks. Pancakes. Calzones. Ice cream. Chicken fingers and french fries with honey barbecue sauce.
And I've just flooded my keyboard.
I've talked to other people and they assure me that in a while this will change. I will not feel the need to physically restrain myself when someone walks by with a slice of pizza. I hope so, because seriously, I'm even dreaming about food. The other night I had a dream that my mom made this huge breakfast of pancakes, french toast, bacon, heaps of butter and rivers of syrup. I woke up to thunderous rumblings from my stomach and stumbled into the kitchen. My mom said, "I cut up some watermelon for you to have."
WATERMELON. I could have cried.
But, if I can actually pull this off, if I can actually do this for myself, I am confident in saying that so can anyone else. I am the person who caves after three days and has now been doing it for five. I feel as though if I can get two weeks under my belt I might be able to go the long haul.
And for those of you who think I'm pathetic or silly for writing this post, I have this to say: I have already lost ten pounds by limiting the amount of food I eat and have now started exercising and cutting all junk out completely, and I still have 38DD breasts. So there.